Joyce's Mind

This place is crazy...


Either the world or I did loose my sanity. I have no idea how the hell I appeared at this place. Thou it's clearly not the place I know. Crap....I'm so far from home and just because of my unsuccessful spell! I'm such a looser. Everything I do is doomed for a terrible fiasco. Even the lives of others hat I touch are breaking down. Evie.....I miss you so much, dear. You were always my ray of light in my miserable life. All is forgiven. And that you got him too. Wish you would be here. Even with the annoying and extremely handsome demon, Bastian, around...I feel terribly lonely. Because you are not here. He's a fun to be around thought.


Demon or nor, Bastian sometimes can be kind. Seems they are not all are as bad as people say. Not even Bael is as much scary as one would imagine. Unless they saw him when his angry. *Sigh* Life really sucks, thought. Especially when you are me...always doomed....always feeling like cursed. When the hell life will decided that I deserved for some success or happiness? Or...did I? Please return to me, Evie....I miss you..


- Always yours, Joyce.-

Evie.....my dearest Evie *Sighs*

How do I tell you what strange things are going on with me. I do not even know if I will ever can continue struggling through. The heart that you have sacrificed for me so willing.....this heart is probably messing up with me. It is falling for a demon. For a creature related with darkness and evil....creature that would probably never knew the meaning of word love or any other good emotion. Bastian only cares about himself and the mischievous he causes for everyone. I know one day he'll cause such a danger to me that no one would be able to help me. I should just abandon him but...would I ever be able to forgive myself? I can't believe I care about a demon. Hev'e become more than a friend to me. That feeling is killing me just because I cannot nor want to admit what I feel for him and the fact he may only laugh at it. Just because of that I cannot tell him anything. It's tormenting, Evie....your heart may not survive such a pain.....Sometimes....*Sighs exasperatedly* I hate the life in here.....I want to go back to home....to the world I at least know well....Here I only feel that I am constantly being watched like an enemy or easy prey.....just like I feel like....Send me an angel f you can......


-Joyce-

*Heavy exasperated sigh*

Did you ever noticed how much I am sighing recently? A sigh after sigh for any occation. For every thought that is to be born in my tortured by guilt and pain mind. I'm trying not to think about all these bad things but these memories pops up out of nowhere. Today thought I succeeded. All my thoughts were occupied with searches for job. Walked across all city.....checked anywhere I could and no one seemed to want any more employees. But fate threw a corn to a blind han finally. I accidentally stumbled upon a renewed Vastwind tavern. Decided to check and here you go! The owner decided I am worth a chance. What just struck me dawn like thunder was the owner himself. He was handsome yes. Any woman would fall for him I'm sure. But there's something off about him. The only thing I can sense he's not human. But he has such a powerful aura and.....god these eyes. They are like a strong powerful magnet. Catches, draws and holds so strongly. I'm glad he's a gentleman....and seems to be harmless...for now. But hell....that may be just the surface. I must be careful.

*Sighs* God...this storm makes me more and nervous. I hate the feeling of unease. I don't have anything about the storms itself but...the lightnings. They scares me ever since We've been struck. You were lucky, you felt no fear after that...but to me it was the start of the hell. Lol...you were always more lucky than I was, Evie. You were the smarter one...more beautiful....you were nearly perfect and my one true idol....I always wanted to be like you. And fate seemed to make a 'funny' joke......now I have the biggest part of yours within....Your heart is still beating there within my chest. Each beat full of love and longing....for missing those I loved once....The only thing I'm glad he's not here. I know he'd try to calm me down...deep inside he's still blaming me for your death....Wish fate would have been more merciful for us.....




-Joyce-

Fate...such a funny unpredictable thing that it is. You never know what she shall bring to you. Just like the storm that started a day ago. Waltzed into Val'Dariah and brought so much to me. I've worked hard on grand opening at Vastwind tavern. So many customers so many possibilities to find new friends. And I had found already. He's a lycan that he is but I saw that I have nothing to be afraid about him. Bryce even offered his help in the form of the money what I can hardly accept......just for the sake of my moral principals. But he was so insistent. Sadly not everyone are so kind and friendly as Bryce. For example.....Lex Khan. Oh that scum and excuse of a man. Valia was right. Last night saw that he is no to be trusted not in the least. He's a walking trouble. Such a damn arrogant narcissistic womaniser. Wish all such people like him would be gone from everywhere. *Sigh*

I'm so glad that I have a nice boss beside me that I can trust with my life. But silly man does not see the love within my eyes that I feel for him and I do not dare to tell it. First of all - he's my boss. Secondly.....what if he has feelings for someone else. And I would be hurt again? No. For now I'll just be a perfect welcoming friend, a trusty ear and a good employee. Time will give us a chance to express our feelings if it will see we are worth it. And I believe we are. More than that...we both deserve to be happy. Finally....And I hope we will get that happiness....together....side by side...heart to heart....I will be paiant....and will anything he will need....